The Impossible Prayer

Last Saturday my friend Jennifer went on a crazy adventure to hike Mount Mitchell...in the middle of the fog and rain!  We made it to the top of the highest point east of the Mississippi River, but missed out on what must be a spectacular view on a clear day.

But what was so cool about the hike was knowing deeply the whole time that just behind the fog was something totally amazing, beautiful, sovereignly designed and created. 

In the humdrum of my daily life, when I feel surrounded by fog, sin, and confusion, I can too easily doubt God's presence and plan.  But on the mountain I know God's glory is always just behind the fog, more amazing than I could ever imagine.  I know He is there in spite of the fog.

I was thinking more about the hike today and what I call my impossible prayer.  I don't know about you, but I have short term prayers, longer term prayers, prayers for the world, and my big ask...then I have my impossible prayer. 

Why do I call it my impossible prayer?  Because it is so crazy, impossible, and ginormous I didn't want to pray the prayer for the longest time.  I was afraid 1) that it would be answered, 2) that it wouldn't be answered, and 3) what the answer/lack of answer would mean.  But I got bold about two months ago and I prayed this prayer.  Not only do I pray, I pray every day at 7 am to start my day out right, to show my confidence in the prayer.

So what changed, that I'm no longer afraid to pray this prayer? 

I guess I'm not afraid of the fog any more.

Here's some verses I've been percolating on for a few months (my emphasis added):

"Oh that you would rend the heavens and come down,
    that the mountains might quake at your presence -
as when fire kindles brushwood and the fire causes water to boil -
   to make your name known to your adversaries,
   and that the nations might tremble at your presence!
When you did awesome things that we did not look for,
   you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence.
From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear,
   no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him."
      -Isaiah 64: 1-4

I've heard verse four before, but never really looked at what's before - such a common mistake! 

"Awesome things we did not look for"?

"...the mountains quaked at your presence"?

How do I miss this?  Why do I limit my prayers to what's safe, expected to an extent, what won't hurt too much if I don't get the answer I want?  God is still behind the clouds, with me in the fire, wanting to do more, bigger and wider and deeper, than I expect or ask to receive.  I get stuck praying only to the clouds, not past them to the God who is in control of all things.

These verses challenge my faith...it's in the waiting, in the truly impossible, when we can't see behind the fog and clouds, that God is at His most powerful, sovereign, and most at work.  A true, living faith is one that sees God in spite of the clouds.  That's the kind of faith I want to live.  That kind of faith is a daily choice and pursuit...an adventure in the fog and up the mountain.