Discouragement vs Redirection

My goal for this blog remains to be positive and encouraging, but recently I experienced something that initially discouraged me. May I share? I promise to be encouraging and uplifting in a few paragraphs.

I found a few weeks ago that World Medical Mission is no longer sending physical therapists to Haiti (or anywhere, for that matter). I can't deny it, I was crushed. It was no fun being rejected for my resume (which is a good one in the therapy world) when my heart for God was so strong. I felt like I had stepped totally outside my comfort zone to come up to the plate, only to find out God had a totally different game in mind. I was confused about God's will for me....I wondered if I got this whole discernment thing totally messed up, if I would ever get it right.

As I worked and prayed through my thoughts, questions, and frustrations and stared at my newly renewed passport, I saw God working so much in me. My heart had transformed from 'I think God wants me to do this' to 'Lord, please send me.' My servant's heart, like the Grinch's, grew several sizes in just a short time.

I think God wants me to learn something I was talking about with my students today when we were discussing turning over your life to Christ. You don't need to travel far away to tell people about Jesus, to serve Him, to advance His kingdom. You can serve just as effectively, if not more, in Charlotte than some exotic third world locale. I should probably start listening to how God speaks through me to others.

What has God put on my heart to do here and now, in Charlotte? What's next for my servant's heart? Three things for now...more prayer needed on a few of them.

First, my heart continues to be burdened for the students of my life group. I've been prompted to continue to push them to grow in experiences outside of our normal life group time and seen God working in them in pretty awesome ways. I love seeing them grow as WOGs. Next up for us is a holiday sleepover...prayers for my sanity appreciated.

Next, even though I'm not going to Haiti in the immediate future, I know this is the part of the world in which I feel drawn to serve. I am praying about sponsoring a child in Haiti through Compassion International. I was thinking about this a couple of days ago, only to have Satan tell me I couldn't afford it. I realized that was a load of junk, even though I have some lofty financial goals and am working for better stewardship of all of my resources. I can't wait for things in my personal finances to get to my personal goals before I start doing God's work. This is something I can do here and now.

Finally...this is the part I am least sure about, but I think God wants me to serve more in the city of Charlotte. I think with homeless children or women. I'm going to have to pray on this one, but I am excited about the possibilities to grow my heart and serve more in the city I've grown to love and call home.

So although I am slightly discouraged, I am excited about this new direction for the growth of my heart.

From my devotional this morning: Jer 10:23 "I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps."