God's Productivity

As physical therapists, we are taught to be efficient.  We have limited time to cause the most change in function, strength, flexibility, or balance.  We have one hour to teach a family member everything we know so that our patient can go home safely, so the family member can do what we deem the priority for a safe discharge.  We do all this with a caring attitude, but keeping our professional distance so our true feelings and emotions are not involved. We seek to be productive, to have a majority of our day as billable hours. 

Coming from this mindset, mission trips are hard.  As therapists burdened in our hearts to serve and help God's people, we want to DO something, fix something, teach someone a skill that will change their lives.  We want to work our butts off and go home telling our friends, our church, our sponsors that we built a bunch of schools, fixed a lot of somebodies, or were really smart and made this totally amazing wheelchair from two sticks and a ball of twine.

But God's productivity is not our productivity.  Rereading my prayer journal this weekend, I am struck by how much, how fervently I prayed for God to show me His character, and how much He truly did and changed me.

The best story of God's productivity for me that week happened on Friday, our last day in Haiti.  The schools for children with disabilities were established, so our team spent the day visiting orphanages.  It was such a blessing to return to House of Hope orphanage, located up the mountain from Port Au Prince, a 45 minute drive up into near paradise after a week of living in near hell on earth.

We arrived with a heavy container full of toys.  The next few hours were spent handing out toys like it was Christmas morning, opening Hot Wheel car packages, blowing up more balloons than I thought possible without passing out, and taking a ton of pictures of the kids.  (If you don't think people are natural hams that like their picture taken, meet these kids!)

After all of this busyness and hustle, a part of me was getting bored, hot, and tired.  We had done what we came to do, I had pictures of my sponsored child, the novelty of the toys was wearing off, and we weren't leaving yet.  I didn't know what to DO.

So I sat down on the ground to rest, and the sweetest little girl with a snotty nose and a big gap in her front teeth climbed into my lap and wrapped my arms around her.  We sat in the sun and snuggled...and I realized, "I can't imagine wanting to be somewhere else or doing anything else.  But I almost missed this!!!"

God doesn't care how much of our time is productive.  He loves us each so intensely, extravagantly, and intimately....a love that is not productive or efficient, especially when we hurt Him with our pride, our selfishness, our sin.  I think He wants us to step into His shoes, to love that one person intimately and embrace them, to forget about the time and our to-do list and simply BE, to know one person differently, to change one life.  To be still, to know that He is God, and that this life near us is made in His beautiful image and is of incredible value.

I know that little girl changed my life.  I made our picture the background of my phone, so that I am constantly reminded to slow down, be still, and love people as God loved them and loves me.  I don't know this girl's name, and find myself unable to sleep tonight, thinking about her and praying for her.  I wish I could take her home with me, snuggle with her every day, and she could live in my enormous closet...but I think my roommate might not like that.  Who is holding her now, loving her now?  I know God is, but how much she must crave physical love and affection in this life as well. 

I need to be constantly reminded, every time I pull out my phone, that God loves this sweet girl far more than I ever could, that He sent Jesus to die for her and for me, that we will be together with Him in eternity.  That is God's character, God's productivity....and I almost missed it.