A Prayer for Rwanda

Well friends, I leave for Rwanda in less than three weeks. 

I am in shock.

As I have been preparing and continue to do so, I've wanted to share my thoughts here, but I've had a major dose of writer's block over the past 4 - 6 weeks.  But I so need your prayers, your love, and your thoughts, so I need to write.

Instead of crafting a hopefully inspiring and slightly humorous post, I'm sharing a prayer I wrote last Wednesday night in my prayer journal.  I was having a freak out, I-am-really-going-to-Africa moment.  I have only done minor editing for run-on sentences.

For more trip information, check out our team's blog.

Prayer requests:
*FUNDRAISING: Most of my team, myself included, have not raised the full trip cost.  Pray for generosity from our friends, acquaintances, and families.
*SAFETY: protection from the very real attacks of Satan, which get bigger the closer to our departure date, and for physical and emotional safety when travelling. 
*RELATIONSHIPS: please pray for the 400+ students at IWE and their teachers, that you would prepare our hearts and their hearts for relational time and growth.  Pray for unity and bonding within our team.

* * * * * * * *

Father, I am having a minor meltdown about the Rwanda trip.  This is all so much bigger, wider, and MORE than my human brain and heart can comprehend.  You are so much more than I imagined, than I have ever been able to dream up or comprehend.  I am realizing how much I am, and have always been, in your grip.  I'm beginning to truly realize how wide is your love for me, how great are your plans for me.

Father, I am afraid, although I know that You are with me and no weapon formed against me will prosper.  I am afraid you will not come through for me in the last minute preparations, the fundraising, the logistics, the million things that need to get done before I go, so that I can leave, travel, and serve you safely.  I am afraid I have horribly misinterpreted this call that you have placed on my heart, that I am royally messing up your plans for me.  But I KNOW this is a lie.  I know, even though I don't pretend to understand at all, that you have called me to say yes to something outside of my control and my comfort zone so that you can be in charge (and you always are) and absolutely get the glory.  This is a huge lesson for me that I must decrease, that you might increase.

Father, I am yours.  I have thought before I had surrendered, but surrender is such a daily task and daily calling on my heart as your daughter.  Help me, strengthen me, give me incredible courage like your to prepare over these next few weeks, to help me put on the full armour of God, to serve and love the people I will meet in Rwanda with my full heart.  You have so blessed me with a heart desiring to love, willing to break, ready to feel, and I pray that you would use it for your glory over the next month.  I love you...thank you for helping me love you more every day.