In His Grip

9 days until Rwanda....

Such a beautiful, crazy, busy time.  So much to do, so many friends I want to see before I leave, to thank them for their support and prayers, to ask for additional prayer and financial support, to find bigger suitcases to carry more supplies, and so on.  So busy at work and regretting not taking off the day before we leave to have more time with Jesus. 

I've been meditating and praying lots about what I have learned in this season...it came down to a phrase my friend uses to sign his emails, 'In His Grip.'

Honestly, I never quite understood this phrase until the past few months of preparing for our trip to Rwanda.  Let me try to explain.

When I was praying for discernment as to whether God was calling me to go to Rwanda, I went on long prayer walks all over Dilworth and Freedom Park.  The only answer I got was, "are you willing to do something outside your comfort zone for me?"  Gulp.  Major gulp.  I wanted, and still want, the answer to be yes - I think this question can be only answered yes or no.  So I act and move in ways that say yes to God, even though my head is screaming "this is totally crazy!!!!!" 90+ % of the time. 

Over the past few months as we, both individually and as a team, have prepared, I've realized how much I have surrendered to God.  How much His hands are all over me, our team, and the girls and teachers with whom we will be building relationships in just a little over a week.  Putting myself far outside my comfort zone has brought my heart so much closer to God.  The more I've learned to surrender my heart, the more I've seen God at work and felt His love and plan for me.  And trust me, I still have a long way to go - surrender is a lifetime journey.

So as I pack my suitcases, buy the new prayer journal, and prepare to leave my family, friends, and work for a week and a half, I'm finding incredible comfort in God's grip on my heart, my life, and this week He has been planning since before He created any of us.  Whatever may happen in Rwanda, whoever I may meet, whatever I learn, whatever I may eat and wish I hadn't, I never want to forget His love and His grip on me - now, always, and forever.

"The LORD your God is in your midst,
   a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
   he will quiet you by his love;
he with exult over you with loud singing."
              --Zephaniah 3:17