Lesson of the Season

This season, God is making me feel like a bad student. That's not something my over-achiever student side likes to learn.

My lesson for the season...learning to confront people with grace while still sticking up for myself.

For someone who hates confrontations, that is not a fun lesson. And I keep getting repeat performances...Work. Home. Friends. Family. It's exhausting, and I am not sure I am learning the lesson in its entirety, either!

I am learning some things, though. I'm realizing that I'm too addicted to the approval of others. I fear initiating a confrontation may affect their approval of me. I hate when people raise their voices and get angry...anger is not an emotion I enjoy. I hate that I churn over issues and past incidents in my head, trying to learn what I could have said better, how I could have been kinder or more graceful, being bitter and frustrated over the situation. Strangely, I think I can change the past!

I think one of the most important lessons God has taught me is not how to confront situations, but how NOT to be. Case in point...my landlord yesterday when I voiced frustration over the poor customer service and problems we've had. I don't want to react in anger, defensively, in retaliation, but in grace and kindness. We both had valid points, but all I came away with was her defensive nature and rudeness, even though I had been a little rude too. Grace would have accomplished so much more for both of us.

You know, Jesus had people confronting Him and attacking Him all the time. He did get frustrated with them, but I don't sense from reading the Scriptures He ever acted without grace.

I really want to be like Him on so many levels. Geez.

Despite how much I dislike this lesson, this part of my current season, I feel convicted it is essential to my growth right now. I know I am facing this weakened part of myself, this part of me that is in need of growth, for the glory of God in the season to come. I need to learn this lesson now, so God can advance His plan and calling for me.

So, whatever your season, whatever you lesson....Remember that God is sovereign. You are learning what you are learning for a reason beyond what we can comprehend.