Wet Feet

Does anyone else ever feel like you're standing at the edge of something big, waiting for God to direct your path? Do you jump off the cliff, wade into the river, stay in safety where you are, or turn the exact opposite direction?

Maybe it's just me, but lately I've felt God burden my heart with an issue, and not know what to do about it. I mentioned a few months ago the call God put on my heart for medical missions, specifically in Haiti. Honestly, I hadn't done much about that gut feeling, except think about it now and then, but in a 'that can't possibly be for me' kind of mindset.

Deep down, I think I was being paralyzed by fear and a heart full of doubt and disobedience.

Something changed over the past few weeks...I started working on an application for World Medical Mission, a Samaritan's Purse organization. They are placing physical therapists short-term in Haiti. But I couldn't finish it! I was putting up major mental road blocks.

Maybe I was misunderstanding God's call.

Maybe I wanted to show off and glorify myself and my talents by wanting to go as a therapist.

Maybe I wasn't really supposed to go on any international missions.

Maybe I wasn't supposed to go as a therapist, but with my church to develop fellowship with folks there.

Maybe they wouldn't like my answers on the application and wouldn't accept me. (could I just send them the link to this blog as my Christian testimony?)

Basically, my heart was a train wreck. Satan is too good at his work, or I am too easy of a target.

Luckily, I have an amazing support network of friends who encourage me and challenge me to grow. One of my new friends (and one of the most encouraging people I know) is Elyse. She is full of amazing wisdom, laughter, and Biblical truth....she tells me like it is, and I love it.

A few weeks ago during one of our speed walks, I was telling her about my application, my questions, and my fears. Elyse told me it sounded like I needed to finish the application and stand in the Jordan. It's a story from Joshua 3 (which I had forgotten), when the Israelites are about the cross the Jordan into Canaan.

Imagine it: the Jordan is at flood levels, and crossing it is the only way into the Promised Land. The land your family has been trying to find for forty years. God (through Joshua) tells the priests carrying the Ark to stand in the Jordan. And suddenly, the Jordan parts, to allow the Israelites to pass into Canaan, God's promise for them.

Well, I realized that I needed to give God room to move, to show me where He wants me. What do you need to do to let God work in your life's adventure? I mailed in my application to World Medical Missions on Monday. The cool part: I went to put my receipt in Bible to remind me to pray about missions, and the Bible fell open to Joshua 3.

I don't know what God is really calling me to do, what it will end up looking like. Maybe Haiti, maybe something totally different. I do know that it will be amazing and difficult and better than anything I could imagine...because to me, that's God in a nutshell.

I don't exactly like this waiting for God to move part, but at least I've finally gotten my feet wet. Your prayers are appreciated and coveted. I'll keep you all posted.