Singles' Awareness Day (?)

Ahhhh, Valentine's Day. My least favorite holiday.

Why?

It's a holiday artificially manufactured, cheesy, and totally driven by consumerism. A day of seeking and demanding attention and possessions for our relational status. I remember back to my high school days, when Valentine's Day was a major status symbol. For girls like me, who never spent the day carrying around flowers or other gifts given by boyfriends, it was a day of total mortification. I usually wanted to spend the day hiding under a rock.

Honestly, being an adult, single Christian woman on Valentine's Day is not necessarily any easier. I still (sadly) often realize that I am defining myself by my earthly relationship status, instead of my eternal status as a redeemed child of God. Comments from friends like "you just need to put yourself out there," "stop being so picky," and "let me set you up (again)" are not really helpful for my mental health, albeit well-intentioned.

This morning, the Lord really spoke to me about my heart and this 'matter of the heart' (you have permission to laugh at my lame attempt at a pun).

I realized that although my heart desires a partner in this life, my motivations are anything but pure and simple. My earthly self wants the social status of being in a relationship...the friendships I made when I first moved to Charlotte have morphed as one by one, friends marry, become engaged, and find boyfriends. Plus (this may come as a surprise to some folks) nice Christian girls still have physical needs...and it is uncomfortable to realize how much this is at play in your heart when desiring a relationship.

I had an really interesting thought while reflecting after my quiet time...we have days for esteeming the love of our earthly relationships, but do we really honor the love of our Father? I know we have Easter and Christmas, but really...shouldn't we honor and celebrate the love of Christ displayed in John 19 daily? Why do we focus just on earthly love, the kind described in Harlequin romance novels and cheesy Lifetime movies?

So, instead of Singles' Awareness Day, I am dubbing Valentine's Day Christ's Love Awareness Day. And every day of my life, for that matter.

That's something really worth celebrating.


And for my fellow singles in Christ....

I just finished Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson and took heart in a few of his points:

"The longer you wait, the more you appreciate." (I know we've all heard this one before, but need to remember this truth.)

Don't make assumptions - with God all things are possible. Stop putting a human, eight-foot ceiling on God (read chapter 4 on the cage of assumptions). He can accomplish what I can't...because if you're like me, you would have 'accomplished' the whole relationship thing 4 years ago by your own strength if you could do it.

And if you're like me, you tend to assume this season of singleness is because something is 'wrong' with you. Negative, ghost writer. I/we need to assume this season is for serving the kingdom, growing in faith and rooting in Christ, and learning to love and serve like Christ for whatever is next...marriage or another season.