Amazing Grace

Today at church, the message was about the Gospel of grace, what separates Christians from all other religions. The service ended with the well-known hymn Amazing Grace. I do love this hymn...full of quiet joy, triumph, but always acknowledging we can do nothing without God. This hymn means even more to me because I did not grow up hearing the message of grace.

I grew up Catholic, and I don't think I ever heard the word grace (except in terms of blessing the food before you eat) in relation to church until I first went to a Protestant church during my graduate school years. I was raised to get your sacraments, work hard and do good, and throw some money in the collection plate every week. If we did those things, we'd be set for heaven.

Maybe I shouldn't admit this, being a Christian, but my intelligent but feeble brain just can't quite comprehend grace. When you think about it, grace is so much more complex than works in its lack of concrete score keeping, but so liberating. Perhaps the complexity and novelty of the concept is what throws me off.

I mean, really. God, the sovereign Creator of everything we've ever known or experienced, freely gives me undeserved love and favor through Christ. The chance to keep trying and trying again when I screw up, without getting a 'ding' on my eternal score care. The chance to experience the most amazing love, the most amazing relationship in history.

But that's also so simple. It's unconditional love. No wonder my brain can't quite grasp it, but my heart yearns to believe.

The past few days I have really struggled with grace, making today's message all the more apropos. I want grace for myself, the chance for a do-over, from God. But I don't want to give grace to myself, or anyone else for that matter. This weekend, I got really mad at myself for not living up to the standards I set for myself (which I realize I set exceedingly, ridiculously high, it's the overachiever in me). I see the Catholic child coming out in me, still trying so hard to be a good little girl, someone God could love. Also, I was angry at others for being consistently, unknowingly, incredibly annoying to me. As if they knew they were being annoying and pushing all of my buttons!

After a self-imposed time out, prayer, and attitude adjustment, the Spirit led me to this verse:

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was within me." 1 Cor 15:10

I love this! A reminder that God has given me grace, because He sees the me I was divinely designed to be. That His grace has already changed me, grown me, even if I cannot always see the difference. That we cannot remain stagnant when we are in Christ and His grace. That we are NOT to work hard for grace, but that grace makes us work for the good of the kingdom and glory of God. Our works come not from ourselves, but from the God, the gift, that lives in us.

I don't know about you, but that's the encouragement I needed today.

A-mazing.