Change in Seasons

One of my favorite things about living in North Carolina is the change in seasons. I love how each season is uniquely different with unique transitions between the seasons. Fall is my favorite season, complete with leaves changing, hiking, feeling the air cool, my birthday, and Thanksgiving.

Even though I know summer will come again, I can't help feeling a little sad that summer 2010 is coming to a close. No more chances to lay out in the sun. The thought of unfulfilled plans and dreams. No more sundresses for a year.

People always talk about 'this season of my/your life.' Honestly, the phrase sometimes confuses me. I feel like different aspects of my life are all concurrently in different seasons. The season I am experiencing professionally is not the same as my personal or faith seasons. I feel like a beautiful mess of all the seasons all at once.

But this week, I understand better. The feeling that something has to die a little bit, something must end, for something new, exciting, and beautiful to be born resonates in me.

For probably almost a year, the Spirit has been knocking on my heart. (I know this is another hackneyed religious phrase people like to use to sound more pious than they are, but that's what it has really felt like to me, literally). I didn't like what He was telling me...to leave the life group of young women from my church. The voice, the feeling, the knocking kept getting louder and more insistent; I couldn't ignore it any more.

So finally...I listened. I left. Exciting. Scary. The world seems wide open. And yet, something beautiful has passed away.

I'm not a person for regret, but I can't help feeling sadness, regret, and just plain old fear with this decision. See, before I joined that life group over two years ago, I had never been in a Bible study of any kind (Catholics aren't big on Bible study). I thought life groups were for a bunch of super religious, no-fun-on-the weekend folks who wanted to spend their time sitting around, praying, and being judgmental about others.

I couldn't have been further from the truth.

Through that life group, I've met so many amazing women and men, godly and fun (who would have thought it possible?!). I've experienced so much growth...more than I could ever have imagined. I've tried things, read things, experienced things I would never have tried on my own. I've made amazing friendships. Now I am sad that these friendships will and are changing, that I am experiencing the 'death' in this change of season, that this season in my life is effectively over.

My heart clings to the fact that this decision was spurred by the Spirit, that it MUST be part of God's plan. I'm praying and submitting, and trying to not be attacked too much by Satan during this transition of seasons.

On the way to work this morning, I listened to a song that encouraged me greatly...I was already percolating on this whole 'change in seasons' and parts of me dying a little bit for new things to be born. Reminding myself that this whole season has been because of the Spirit working in me.

In the amazing words of Switchfoot, one of my favorite bands:

Spirit, take me up in arms with you. You're raising the dead in me....

Something must die for something beautiful to come next.

I'm waiting. The new season is coming.