Penny For Your Thoughts

Yesterday began my Thirty Day Experiment. An experiment to spend 30 days consciously trying to be more like Jesus....living with less stuff, living with more love and compassion, living with more faith.

And yes, I know I am supposed to be trying and praying to be conformed to Jesus anyways...but what will happen if that becomes my focus for the next 30 days?

Just being aware that my experiment began Monday changed my perspective. I wondered what Jesus would say to me if He hung out with me all day. (By the way, I really wish He would, in person, so we could have a face-to-face conversation. That would be awesome).

As I went about my day, I imagined a little bit what that might be like. Hanging out with Jesus in the staff room at lunch. Grabbing coffee after work and chatting and catching up like old friends. If the conversation lulled, He might have asked me, "Penny for your thoughts."

What would I say to that? What would you say?

Overall, I am a pretty positive and upbeat person. My patients (at least the ones who are somewhat aware of their surroundings) complain fairly often that I am very cheerful, especially early in the morning. But not so much on Monday. I caught myself getting cranky about all kinds of silly temporary circumstances....Traffic. Paperwork. Tasty Yo being closed on Mondays. Dirty dishes. A waiting season of life. Backache. Annoying people. Being impatient waiting for God.

Is this the kind of thing I really want to tell Jesus is on my mind? Does this reflect my heart as I desire it to be?

Well, He already knows. And no, it doesn't.

I realized anew yesterday that the way I think in the small passing everyday moments, which summatively make up my life, is a major factor in my faith and my behavior. My thoughts reflect how much I let Jesus in my daily life. How much I trust and lean on Him. One of my favorite verses, shared with me by a former patient, is "We take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." (2 Cor 10:5). Am I doing that in my daily life? Am I trying to? I hope and wish it is so.

I've heard this next verse so often it almost becomes trite...but it's so true. And I don't live it out to the best of my ability. I get stuck in negative thought circles, patterns I can't get away from once I start. And part of me, deep down, wants to get in a small negative spiral and have a mini pity party for myself every now and then.

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Phil 4:8.

To my Thirty Day Experiment list of challenges, I think I need to add "think more like Jesus. Or think about what He would want you to be thinking about."

Late Monday, I couldn't sleep, and ended up reading from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. It's been on my nightstand for months. I read little snippets here and there when directed by the spirit. Here's what was in the chapter last night:

"As our intention is, so will be our progress;and he who desires perfection must be very diligent. If the strong-willed man fails frequently, what of the man who makes up his mind seldom or half-heartedly?"

What I got out of that (and that was pretty late at night, so I could be wrong here) is that our thoughts, our convictions, our intentions, are the first step in following Christ. What's on your mind tonight? Is it true, noble, or lovely?

Is it Jesus?